“It was not an auspicious start. The lift containing myself and two French guests was standing stock still on the ground floor, refusing to budge.”
Prompted by a comment from a Twitter friend today, I’ve been scratching my head about the growing misuse of myself in conversation and writing. The quote above is a perfect example, from a published article that I dug out earlier.
There are several factors at work when it comes to this mishandling of me and myself. The first is the uncertainty that exists around me and I.
“My wife and I went to a party. Quaffing two bottles of cabernet in an hour was a record for my wife and me.”
The different treatment of the two is easy, as you’ll see if we just describe my drinking exploits:
“I went to a party. Quaffing two bottles of cabernet in an hour was a record for me.” (and what a record ...)
So, me-fear is an issue. There is also a sense that myself has more formality, that in polite or exalted company using myself is more, well, educated. That’s a shame, because being yourself is more natural, never mind the fact that using myself like this is wrong:
“Myself and my partner are going to see the Queen.”
Quite apart from the impoliteness of going first, using myself in this way is like wearing an overly fancy hat or tie to a royal garden party. Much better to keep it simple and smart. “My partner and I ...”
The final factor at play is the use of myself for effect. We do this when we are highlighting our role in something:
“When the builders didn’t turn up, I moved the bloody slabs myself. I gave myself a hernia.”
This is absolutely fine. Just make sure there’s an I in there somewhere to emphasise.
In summary, use myself when you are doing something to yourself (it’s called a reflexive pronoun – from the Latin for reflect, as in a mirror).
“I hit myself on the head with a lump hammer, knocking myself out.”
If someone else is doing the doing, it’s me:
“My wife hit me on the head with a lump hammer, knocking me out.”
That opening quote would have been better as “the lift containing two French guests and me ...”. Perhaps it was the French company that put our correspondent off.
